Addicts have a way of finding each other in life. We hang out in the same circles and seek out each other’s company. We develop relationships around our using, and often marry and have families with our fellow addicts. It makes sense. Only an addict can understand another addict, and with using such an integrated part of our lives, it makes sense to choose a partner we can do that with.
Unfortunately, using relationships are not healthy relationships, no matter how much we love each other.
Addiction Is A Family Problem
Addiction is a cycle that continues from generation to generation. Nature and nurture are at play. Many of us had parents and siblings who used, and in turn, many of our children will go on to use as well.
As addicts who want to stop this vicious cycle, the best we can do is to get clean and sober and set a good and healthy example for our family members.
It can get difficult when we are in a relationship with a fellow addict. Couples face unique challenges when it comes to recovery. Oftentimes, one person in the relationship will want to get sober and the other one isn’t ready. This will many times prompt the other person to compromise their own recovery in order to keep the relationship. This role may switch back and forth many times. Getting clean and sober together is not easy.
Men And Women Are Different When It Comes To Addiction
This is one of the challenges. Men and women respond differently in their addictions, and differently to treatment of addiction. Studies show that women have a tougher time getting sober than men, and societal expectations of women may make them more reluctant to admit they have a problem. Men also face challenges in overcoming their disease. This article highlights in more detail some of the differences between men and women and addiction.
Codependency Is A Factor
Caretaking behavior on both sides, enabling and denial are often present in couples struggling with addiction. These traits can feed the situation and make getting help harder. Sometimes, one person in the relationship may feel threatened if the other person wants to get sober.
Addiction damages relationships in numerous ways. By the time a couple has made the decision to get sober, both parties have been through so much that their relationship isn’t able to withstand the changes.
It is also important to realize that while substance abuse is a major problem in the relationship, it isn’t necessarily the only problem. It is common to blame everything on the drugs, and many couples are surprised when they get sober and find that they are still fighting and having problems. This is why couples counseling is so important, because it addresses many of the underlying issues that are causing trouble beyond the drugs and alcohol.
Healing Addiction As Individuals
One thing that is important to realize is that while your relationship is important, it is necessary for both parties to take the time to heal as individuals. Too often, the relationship is such a distraction that it makes getting sober almost impossible. In addition, each person in recovery has to work on themselves, and this is tough if you are too busy worrying about the other person. It isn’t easy to let go of the relationship so that you can focus on yourself, but it is necessary.
Getting Addiction Help Together
At Broadway Treatment Center , we believe that couples can recover and that families can heal. When families heal, the cycle of addiction can be broken. Our program helps each individual get sober and begin to change destructive and limiting thought and behavior patterns. When a couple enters into treatment with Broadway Treatment Center , they will recover separately, however, we offer couples counseling in conjunction with individual treatment.
This is an essential component of recovery as a couple. During treatment, you will begin to not only grow stronger as an individual, but you will begin to repair some of the damage that has resulted from active addiction. This can make a huge difference, not only in the success of your sobriety, but also in the long-term success of your relationship and the health of your family.
If you are struggling with addiction and are looking for a new way of life, Broadway Treatment Center can help. Contact our couples addiction program today at (714) 443-8218 for more information.